Release date: March 22nd,
2023
Written between August 2022 - February 2023
Description:
"one of the longest projects i've done as of 2023.
it holds personal value to me, as it is mostly about my struggles with
mental health and severe symptoms of borderline. on the other hand, this
mellow theme slowly fades toward the end with the familiar joyful sound i
had always envisioned since early 2022, signifying a feeling of clarity and
a sudden spark of joy.
it's a send-off to those awful times as i take one last look, one deep
breath and let go, ready to move forward into the future.
a fresh start was all that's needed. it's the start of feeling whole again."
- Bandcamp description
Insight:
During the writing of this album; I was depressed, heavily. This album was a reflection of that, while hoping that it'd all come to a positive end. It didn't later down the line. I wrote all of these songs during a time where it was helping me stay active instead of feeling like a broken mess. A lot of personal and interpersonal stuff was going on, so this album had hints and minor references to what was going on at the time. Some people took issue with that, while others supported me on my journey and understood where I came from.
I took a hiatus at the start of 2023 after something happened that completely destroyed me, so I went silent on social media for over a month and a half (even deactivated my Instagram account) until finally breaking the silence by posting a trailer of the album onto my socials. Even though I had less than what I used to have back then, I was still met with overwhelming support from my friends and listeners. Looking back on this project now, it would become the foundation of what would become in 2024's album, and a stepping stone to things getting better now.
'GOTHBREAKS (XTNDED MIX)' was initially made in mid 2022. It's an extended version of a 1 minute and 43 second track I did for a compilation. However, I held it off from posting until after the comp was up, which then ended up on the 'demos 2021-2022' comp until finally having a place on this album. I'm not proud of being on that compilation now, as I've heard from a friend that the label owner was abusive to his pets and I've gotten complaints about him from other. After hearing all of that on top of other horrific shit, I no longer associated myself with that person.
2 CD runs existed of this, one released on the launch of the album, printed on matte-finish digipaks, and another in October 2023, this time with glossy-finish digipaks. All of them had the same design.